1. CHEMISTRY is the magic, the special energies that signal partners possess the raw material for success. Chemistry is not optional because it provides the synergy couples need to get through the rapids of relationship -- and keep them high on course to their grandest goals.
   
   
2. PRIORITY is a couple's commitment to keep the health of their relationship front and central. It asks partners to begin to psychologically "leave the nest" of their first families -- and to address any compulsions and addictions, including codependence -- in order to be fully available to their second family.
   
   
3. EMOTIONAL INTEGRITY asks partners to create an "emotional safe zone" with each other. They do this by taking responsibility for their feelings -- especially by learning the difference between "acting them out" and expressing them healthily. This law also guides partners in identifying and healing blind spots and "buttons" that cause disharmony in all relationships.
   
   
4. DEEP LISTENING is the greatest act of love -- and a skill. It is partners' ability to hear each other's words, and the feelings underneath, with compassion and empathy.
   
   
5. EQUALITY is about fairness and respect. It involves acknowledging power imbalances in the relationship and helps partners see through the tyranny of unnegotiated -- and often antiquated -- roles, responsibilities and unconscious expectations.
   
   
6. PEACEMAKING is a couple's commitment to maintain their emotional safe zone through the use of anger management and conflict resolution tools and New Couple agreements.
   
   
7. SELF-LOVE Relationship landmines are precise gauges of pockets of low self-love and unfinished emotional business from childhood. This law teaches partners how to deeply defuse conflict and fall back in love with everyone.
   
   
8. MISSION IN LIFE This law teaches that true love cannot be sustained until both parties are on some level engaged in his or her own true work. Mission in Life is partners' commitment to the fulfillment of their own and the other's life purpose. Intimates are either a mission's most powerful support or its most formidable saboteur.
   
   
9. WALKING involves addressing the primary insecurities that plague all partners, because emotional and financial dependencies can mean slow death -- of respect, trust and passion. When intimates are willing and able to leave the relationship if need be, it's their best insurance that they won't!
   
   
10. TRANSFORMATIONAL EDUCATION is the fail-safe mechanism of the Ten New Laws of Love. It represents partners' commitment to do whatever learning and healing is necessary if they get stuck on any of the first nine laws.

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