When your boundaries are intact in a relationship you:

• Have clear preferences and act upon them.
  
  
• Recognize when you are happy/unhappy.
  
  
• Acknowledge moods and circumstances around you while remaining centered (live actively).
  
  
• Do more when that gets results.
  
  
• Trust your own intuition while being open to the other’s opinions.
  
  
• Live optimistically while co-working on change.
  
  
• Are only satisfied if you are thriving.
  
  
• Are encouraged by sincere, ongoing change for the better.
  
  
• Have excited interest in self-enhancing hobbies and projects.
  
  
• Have a personal standard, albeit flexible, that applies to everyone and asks for accountability.
  
  
• Appreciate feedback and can distinguish it from attempts to manipulate.
  
  
• Relate only to partners with whom mutual love is possible.
  
  
• Are strongly affected by your partner’s behavior and take it as information.
  
  
• Integrate sex so that you can enjoy it but never at the cost of your integrity.
  
  
• See your partner as stimulating your excitement.
  
  
• Let yourself feel anger, say “ouch” and embark on a program of change.
  
  
• Act out of agreement and negotiation.
  
  
• Only do favors that you choose to do (you can say no).
  
  
• Honor intuitions and distinguish them from wishes.
  
  
• Insist others’ boundaries be as safe as your own.
  
  
• Mostly feel secure and clear.
  
  
• Are always aware of choices.
  
  
• Are you living a life that mostly approximates what you’ve always wanted for yourself.
  
  
• Decide how, to what extent, and how long you will be committed and protect your private matters without having to lie or be surreptitious.

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